Memo #4

During class of EDU 6011 Psychology of Personality this afternoon, Arezou (an Iranian student) who presented a paper on Attachment and Personality,  mentioned that she is not strongly attached to her mother. She said she is more attached to her father. I asked why and she answered that may be because her mother was always not satisfied with her. Her mother usually complained a lot about her but never her brother. She didn't elaborate and I didn't have the heart to know how and what.

Well, I thought at first may be her mother liked to nag at her thus, causing the weak attachment but she said that was only a part of the problem. She revealed that her mother was depressed during the early years of her marriage when she lost her mother and father. Her personality, too, changed after that.

So nagging is only a part of the problem. No big deal. It's not the nagging that she was really concerned with.

Before the class ended, Koh (not her real name), told me that nagging is very natural as she nags everyday at home. It's something she does to make sure that everything in the house is in order. It's more of caring than dissatisfaction. It's way to remind the children and her husband that things must be in order. It's an instinct, she said.